Things Not To Say to the Bride

Lindsey is off to North Carolina this weekend for her cousin’s wedding, so we thought a midweek #WeddingWednesday post was appropriate. If you’ve been a bride you’ll reminisce and get a good laugh today. If you are a bride, today’s post might sting a little. But, more importantly if you’re a guest at someone’s wedding this year, LISTEN CLOSELY.

Don’t say these things or do any of these things to a bride, groom, mother of the bride, or family member of a bride…etc. Just don’t. Unfortunately, Lindsey had one or more of these questions come her way during wedding planning last year. Don’t be “that guest”, and remember that you NEVER inconvenience the bride and groom a 1-2 months before the wedding. Unless there’s some kind of “guest emergency” (like food allergies), don’t contact the bride and groom with any petty question like this…EVER.

1. “Do I have a plus one?”

If you have to ask, then no. You do not have a plus one. If your invitation was addressed to you, and you only, then you don’t have a plus one. This might sound silly to you, but I promise you…some people don’t get it.

Here are examples of the meaning behind addressed invitations:

Ms. Kristin Cavallari = fun, single, Laguna Beach Kristin is invited without a guest.

Ms. Kristin Cavallari & Guest = Kristin can bring her new boyfriend Jay to the wedding.

Ms. Kristin Cavallari & Jay Cutler = the engaged couple are invited.

Mr. & Mrs. Jay Cutler = Kristin & Jay – the married couple are invited.

That being said…if you’re invitation isn’t addressed like the last three examples, then don’t ask if you have a plus one, YOU DON’T.

2. If you have a plus one, and the guy you wanted to bring bails on you, that does not mean you have a plus one up for grabs.

You don’t just invite a random, or assume you can invite a random, ESPECIALLY if that random is one of your girlfriends. Have some respect.

3. Bridesmaids: Never start a sentence saying “Don’t freak out, but….”

That will make a bride breakout into hives for goodness sake.

4. Don’t forget to bring a gift. Another thing that sounds silly, but you would be surprised.

Both Lilly & Lindsey have both been guilty of leaving their gifts in their hotel rooms. If this happens to you, make it a point to send the card to the newlyweds right away. Don’t wait for 4 months to go by before handing them a crumpled up card. They will know who did/didn’t send something because of the way they organize their thank you notes, so just don’t forget. It’s tacky.

5. Another bridesmaid rule – don’t let the bride hear you say you don’t like your hair and/or makeup.

Keep it to yourself, sneak out of the room, and quietly fix it. Treat your bride like a sensitive volcano that can erupt at any minute. She’s sensitive, hormonal, nervous, excited, and going crazy with emotion. There is no reason to unleash a ticking bridezilla. Treat her like the sensitive cupcake she is, and keep your comments to yourself.

6. Don’t talk about your wedding at someone else’s wedding.

“At my wedding we did we had ice cream cake…” “…Our wedding is going to have a band, not a DJ.” We know it sounds like it’s not that big of a deal, but constant chatter about your wedding when you’re at someone else’s wedding is obnoxious.

7. “I’m surprised she’s a bridesmaid…

Another “keep it to yourself rule”, don’t assume you know anythingabout the relationships the bride has with their friends, because you don’t. You sound a little jealous…Gretchen Weiners…

 8. “I’m at the worst table…”

If you only knew how stressful the table assignments can be. This is something people who have plannedweddings will truly understand, and not say. If you’re at a weird table you start connecting the dots as to why you’re at this table, and appreciate the effort of the bride and groom. It’s an art. We can’t tell you how hard it was to make sure we didn’t sit exs at the same table during Lindsey & Blake’s wedding, and this wasn’t just Lindsey and Blake’s friends we had to worry about!

 9. “I know I RSVP’d for just me, but now Jay wants to come, can I bring him last minute?”

If this change is something that happens the week of the wedding, we highly advise you to rethink asking. Like we said before, there is nothing more stressful than assigning tables, and this “small” request will require the bride and groom to have to add a chair to table 8, and then take one away from table 6, and then move two chairs to fit everyone else at table 6…aka NO. Not only that, chances are they have already paid the final deposit.

 10. “Why wasn’t so and so invited?”

If you have the balls to say something like this, then please get a reality check. We kid you not, someone went up to Lindsey and Blake while attending someone else’s wedding and asked why they weren’t invited to their wedding. If you notice that someone you thought would be at the wedding isn’t there, there’s usually a reason. If the bride and groom have chosen not to include a family member or friend, chances are there was at least one long conversation that went into making that decision — and thewedding day is definitely not the time to bring it up.

xoxo, Lindsey & Lilly

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